HASSLE: A Toxic Spider Monkey Card Game

HASSLE

A Toxic Spider Monkey Card Game

Charles got superpowers. He did not get a work ethic.

And now, thanks to a series of increasingly questionable decisions, there's a card game about it.

Welcome to HASSLE — a gloriously inappropriate, competitive card game set in the deranged world of Toxic Spider Monkey.

The premise is simple.

Life throws problems at you. Other people make those problems worse. You can try to resolve them, dodge them, redirect them, or make them somebody else's problem entirely.

And just when you think you've got everything under control…

THE FUCKING MONKEY TURNS UP.

All bets are off.

WHAT THE HELL IS HASSLE?

HASSLE is a physical tabletop card game built around problems, bad decisions, tactical interference and the fine art of avoiding responsibility.

Inspired by the Toxic Spider Monkey universe, it combines genuine gameplay decisions with gloriously unpredictable consequences.

You don't need to have read the books, explored the website or developed an unhealthy obsession with radioactive primates to enjoy it.

Although frankly, it helps.

The objective isn't to save the world.

It's to finish with less hassle than everyone else.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

INCIDENTS — Because something always goes wrong.

Every Incident presents another problem that somebody has to deal with.

RESPONSES — Solutions are somebody else's responsibility.

Use your cards to handle problems, redirect them, interfere with other players or make an already stupid situation significantly worse.

CHARACTERS — Some people should never be given responsibility.

Familiar faces from Toxic Spider Monkey bring their own personalities and questionable approaches to problem-solving.

THE MONKEY — Absolutely nobody invited him.

Unpredictable Monkey cards can turn a perfectly reasonable plan into an administrative catastrophe.

MARTIN — He's a brick.

No, really. He's a brick.

We refuse to elaborate at this time.

The result is a competitive game in which clever decisions matter, alliances are unreliable and everything can go magnificently wrong.

A GAME THAT STANDS ON ITS OWN

HASSLE isn't simply merchandise from a fictional universe.

It's being developed as a proper tabletop game with its own rules, strategies, characters and replayability.

The world supplies the madness.

The game has to earn the fun.

We're refining the current development build through playtesting before locking the final production rules and components.

Expect tactical decisions, unexpected reversals, ridiculous situations and the occasional realisation that the person sitting opposite you is a complete bastard.

Which, to be fair, you probably knew before the game started.

THE TOXIC SPIDER MONKEY UNIVERSE

Charles Exavior Butterworth is an intelligent, comfortably well-off, profoundly unmotivated man who happens to possess extraordinary superpowers.

He could save the world.

He just can't be arsed.

He isn't evil. He isn't especially cruel. He simply believes that most problems are better handled by somebody else.

Unfortunately, the world around him includes dubious associates, questionable villains, deeply suspicious organisations and a radioactive spider monkey whose idea of restraint is practically nonexistent.

HASSLE brings that philosophy to the tabletop.

You can be clever. You can be ruthless. You can be extraordinarily lucky.

But somebody is still going to make your life difficult.

Possibly Martin.

He's a brick, remember.

WHAT CAN YOU GET?

We've prepared several ways to introduce HASSLE into your life.

Reward

Kickstarter pledge

LAUNCH HASSLE — Limited Early Bird

£27

HASSLE — The Full Game

£30

DOUBLE HASSLE — Two Games

£55

THREE TIMES THE HASSLE

£80

And for the truly committed…

THE CHARLES EXAVIOR BUTTERWORTH SIGNATURE EDITION

A strictly limited run of ten individually signed copies of HASSLE, each accompanied by a plush banana.

Banana may vary depending on The Monkey's diet.

There are also optional extras for people who believe they've somehow escaped with insufficient nonsense.

Shipping is not included in the pledge prices and will be charged separately after the campaign through Kickstarter's Pledge Manager.

WHAT WILL YOUR MONEY ACTUALLY PAY FOR?

First and foremost: making and delivering HASSLE properly.

Your support will help fund:

Final game development, testing and production preparation.

Human-created final production artwork.

Printing and manufacturing the physical card game.

Packaging, production proofs and quality checks.

Freight, fulfilment preparation and compliance.

A sensible contingency for delays, damages and unexpected costs.

We'd rather deliver one properly made, wonderfully ridiculous game than promise twelve million unnecessary extras and disappear into a warehouse full of regret.

The bigger Toxic Spider Monkey universe has plenty more games and projects waiting in the wings.

But HASSLE comes first.

WHERE ARE WE NOW?

HASSLE is in development, with its core gameplay structure established and further human playtesting, production artwork, manufacturing arrangements and fulfilment preparation to complete.

The final player count, game duration, component specification and production details will be confirmed before the campaign launches.

A note about the artwork: Some images shown during campaign development are concept illustrations and product mock-ups, not photographs of manufactured stock. AI tools have been used for concept development and previsualisation. Our production plan is for human artists to create the final artwork for the physical game.

We believe in showing you what we're making without pretending that an unfinished prototype is already sitting in a shipping container.

WHY KICKSTARTER?

Because this is where good ideas, terrible ideas and genuinely interesting creative projects come together.

HASSLE is a bit of all three.

Kickstarter lets us build the first commercial production run with the people who actually want to play it, while sharing the development process and growing the thoroughly unreasonable Toxic Spider Monkey community.

Supporting this campaign means helping us turn a fictional world's spectacularly poor attitude towards responsibility into a real, playable card game.

And possibly helping us discover how many plush bananas it takes to bankrupt a monkey.

READY FOR SOME HASSLE?

Back the game.

Tell your friends.

Tell your enemies.

Tell somebody you barely know and refuse to explain yourself.

Because while you can spend your entire life trying to avoid HASSLE…

Sometimes the HASSLE comes looking for you.

TOXIC SPIDER MONKEY PRESENTS: HASSLE.

Same idiots. New problems.